Despair

de·spair

[dih-spair]

–noun

1. loss of hope; hopelessness.

2. someone or something that causes hopelessness: He is the despair of his mother.

–verb (used without object)

3. to lose, give up, or be without hope (often fol. by of ): to despair of humanity.

–verb (used with object)

4. Obsolete . to give up hope of.

Origin:

1275–1325; ME despeir (n.), despeiren (v.) \ AF despeir, OF despoir (n.), despeir-, tonic s. of desperer (v.) \ L dēspērāre to be without hope, equiv. to dē- de- + spērāre to hope, deriv. of spēs hope

I had a brush with despair recently. Interesting how dark and grey things become when you think that you've reached a dead end in your life. The darkness has passed and I'm feeling like my old self - for what it's worth ;)

Unfortunately, so many people are not able to shrug off the darkness that depression and despair can levy upon them. I think I understand now what it is that drives people to suicide, suicide bombings, and possibly what drives those people who go on shooting sprees. They probably feel they have reached the end of a one way street with no turning back; some may choose to go quietly, while others choose to go out in a blaze of glory.

Bill Zeller was once such person who reached the end of the line and chose to exit on his own terms. Zeller was a programmer who was featured on the weblog LifeHacker. He took his own life on Sunday and left an explanation which has been posted of fellow weblog, Gizmodo:
http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller